The "Perfect Family"?

When I tell people that baby #2 is a boy, I've noticed that a lot of the time some of them will say something along the lines of, "A boy and a girl!  You've got the perfect family now!"  I never really thought about (and normally don't even respond to that kind of comment) until just recently.  An old friend of mine made the same comment a few days ago and, for some reason, it really got to me.  So here's my two cents.

Since when did we put so much stock in having a boy and a girl?  If this baby were also a girl, would that make my family less perfect?

Scott is absolutely thrilled to be having a son.  We both are.  But that doesn't make us or our family any better or more "perfect" than anyone else's family.  I actually asked him the other day if he thought that way and his response was "Nah. Even if it was a girl, it would still be cool."  Okay.  So, clearly, the intimation that our family is only perfect because we've got "one of each" is only bothersome to me.

Another old friend, whom I haven't seen in forever, made the same kind of "perfect family" comment the other day...but then followed it up with "That's good.  Now you can be done having kids."

What?!  Who said I wanted to be done having kids?  Why is that the assumption? 

I've always said I wanted a big family, and I stand by that statement.  If we had four or five kids, I'd be happier than you'll ever know.  But I want children because I love them and because Scott and I want to grow our family (and I may be super biased here, but we do make damn beautiful babies), NOT because I have some preconceived notions of wanting and having a certain number of girls and a certain number of boys.  If we had 5 daughters, I would be thrilled.  If we had 5 sons, I would be thrilled.  If we ended up with a crazy random mix of both...I would be thrilled. 

I know that when people make those kinds of comments that they don't mean anything by it.  But, at the same time, I can't help but resent the implication that if I were having another girl, she would be somehow "less than ideal" or that I would *obviously* have another baby so I could try for a boy this time.  If Scott and I do decide to have more kids, it will be because we love the children we have and want to add to our family, NOT because we're trying to add a specific gender to the mix. 

So when people say, "Now you'll have the perfect family!" or "Lucky you...you can be done having kids now!" I just smile and nod and move on.  I'll let you know when I'm "done" having kids, but I don't think that time is right now.  And, yes, thank you...my family IS perfect. 

Not because I have a daughter and will soon have a son, but because it's mine.