Flame-Free Friday!

It's Flame-Free Friday, folks!  I don't have too much to confess this week, but here goes:


Scott totally busted me for last week's confession about not washing the dishes.  He reads this blog maybe every 7 or 8 months, but he picked yesterday to log on and check it out.  Luckily, he was more amused than anything...but he's declared that he will no longer do the dishes when I decide to wait them out.  I screwed myself, folks.  I screwed myself.  ;-)

Yesterday was Bailey's birthday and she spent the night at my parents' house.  Every other Thursday she has a sleepover with her cousins at Mimom and Grandpop's house and yesterday happened to be their sleepover night.  Scott and I wanted to do something special with Bailey to celebrate her birthday, but all she wanted to do was have her sleepover.  So we let her go, and brought a cake over later on.  I missed her...but it was soooo nice not to get a break from the increasingly long bedtime routine with her.

I'm having surgery in July...and I'm looking forward to the "vacation".  I'm nervous about the surgery to the point where I haven't even really let myself think about it, but the overnight stay in the hospital will be a break for me.  I'm going to miss Scott, Bailey and Gerry like crazy, but 55 hour work weeks are exhausting to me and Bailey hasn't been easy to get to sleep at night for the past few weeks...it will be nice to not have to spend my every waking moment (at least for one day) taking care of kids, refereeing arguments, and talking them all down from the random tantrums they have a thousand times a day.

I'm counting down the days to vacation like a child counting down to Christmas.  Seriously.  I need this vacation. 

I haven't taken any pictures of myself for my Isagenix blog since I first started the program.  I have "before" pictures and happened to stumble upon them on my phone yesterday...and I was ashamed.  Oh my Lord, they were a wake-up call!  I didn't realize quite how big I had gotten until I saw those pictures.  Thank God I'm on my way to a healthier weight...but I'm embarrassed at where I was.

This picture makes me laugh WAY more than it should. 

So...anyone want to share some confessions?

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IIt's Flame-Free Friday, folks!  Time to get those confessions out without fear of judgement.  Feel free to hop on board with me here and leave your confessions in the comments.  This is a safe zone...no judgements, no unkind remarks.  Get it off your chest.  Here are my confessions for the week: - See more at: http://wanner-family.blogspot.com/#sthash.Yl0c1bB4.dpuf

It's Flame-Free Friday, folks!  Time to get those confessions out without fear of judgement.  Feel free to hop on board with me here and leave your confessions in the comments.  This is a safe zone...no judgements, no unkind remarks.  Get it off your chest.  Here are my confessions for the week: - See more at: http://wanner-family.blogspot.com/#sthash.Yl0c1bB4.dpuf

It's Flame-Free Friday, folks!  Time to get those confessions out without fear of judgement.  Feel free to hop on board with me here and leave your confessions in the comments.  This is a safe zone...no judgements, no unkind remarks.  Get it off your chest.  Here are my confessions for the week: - See more at: http://wanner-family.blogspot.com/#sthash.Yl0c1bB4.dpuf

Happy Birthday, Baby!

This was my Facebook status this morning:

3 years ago today the world got a little bit crazier, a little bit funnier, and a WHOLE LOT better...Happy Birthday, Bailey!

My baby is 3 years old today.  3...YEARS...OLD.  Where has the time gone?  Just yesterday, I was holding her newborn sweetness in my arms and then I blinked and she's a big girl. And what a big girl she is...talking like a young adult, running around like a crazy person, and doing all these independent things.  She knows what she wants, what she likes and dislikes, and she's not afraid to express herself in whatever way she needs to.  She is amazing.  Amazing. 

The day she was born I had no clue what to expect.  She had spent more than 9 months inside of me and, yet, I didn't know a thing about her.  I was clueless as to what foods she would like, what she'd look like, her personality.  I didn't know her like I do now.

I adore the little girl that she is.

She's loud and crazy and I can't for the life of me get her to slow down sometimes.  She loves fruits and veggies, popsicles and chocolate.  She's into all things girly--makeup, tiaras, dresses.  She has her own sense of style (last night she wore a tutu to bed) and hates having her hair pulled up.  Her brother is one of her very favorite people in this world.  She plays with her ear when she's tired (as I write this, she's lying next to me and playing with my ear, having gotten bored with her own), and she's ridiculously attached to her bink.

She doesn't do anything halfway, whether it be loving, playing, having a tantrum, laughing or crying.  She's an "all or nothing" kind of girl.  She's quick to share with others, but she also sometimes has a hard time giving up something she really wants.  She has so many moments of sweetness, but also quite a few moments of "toddler tantruming".

 She is the most wonderful daughter a mother could ask for and I love her so much it hurts.  The last three years have been incredible and I feel lucky that I've gotten to spend them with this little girl.  It just gets better and better!

Happy 3rd Birthday, big girl!

The day she was born

Happy 1st Birthday!

At her 2nd birthday party

3rd birthday party

Blogging With a Purpose: 10 Things I Live For

I'm linking up with Becky over at From Mrs. To Mama again this week. 

When I first sat down to start writing this post, I mistook the topic for the week and thought it was "10 Things I Can't Live Without".  I spent more than 35 minutes staring at the computer screen trying to think of things I couldn't live without before I got a clue and checked back over on Becky's blog.

I could only think of 3 things that I can't live without, and not one of them was a materialistic object.  But things I love for?  Well, that list is almost endless.  And so much easier to write about.  So, without further ado and in no particular order, here are 10 things I live for:

My family.  Cheesy, I know, but it's true.  I live for my family.  For my husband, my children, my parents and grandparents, brother and sister, aunts and uncles, cousins.  Some of my best and happiest memories have been spent with my family, and I live for the times when we're all together.

This is a few years old, so the 4 great-grandkids are missing...

My son's smile and my daughter's giggle.  You know how they say things can "light up a room"?  Well, Gerry and Bailey really do.  Whenever Gerry smiles, oh my gosh, it's amazing.  And Bailey's giggles and belly laughs can make even the worst day a million times better.  I live for the moments when I can catch them in unbridled enthusiasm and happiness, and I'll do almost anything to make it happen.

 

Lazy Saturday mornings.  Now that Bailey's dance class is over, we have more time to laze around on Saturday mornings, and I love it.  Scott and I don't set any alarms; we just wait for one or both of the kids to wake us up.  9 times out of 10, all 4 of us end up in our bed together watching tv and slowly waking up.  I'll give G a bottle and he sometimes dozes off in my arms while Bailey watches one of her shows.  Scott will go downstairs and make our breakfast shakes and we'll enjoy them in bed.  Then, when Bailey is ready, she and I will get dressed and take a walk to Wawa for coffee and donuts, and we sit out on the back patio and relax with them for a bit before starting our day.  It's such a wonderful and peaceful way to start my weekend, and I live for those quiet days with my little family. 


My weekend coffee.  Such a trivial and somewhat materialistic thing, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't something that I live for these days.  Since starting our Isagenix program, I've kicked my 3-cup-a-day habit, and I only have one or two cups on weekend mornings as a treat.  I sip it slowly while reading a book outside or putzing around on the computer, and I savor the hell out of it.  I seriously look forward to my weekend coffee.

Beach vacations.  We go every summer and I look forward to it all year.  Seven days at the beach...no work...just family and sun and sand and relaxation.  It's quite possibly the best week I have all year.

That first sip of hot apple cider on a cool autumn afternoon.  Fall is my favorite season...there's something about the crispness in the air, the changing and falling leaves, that is ridiculously calming to me. 


Christmas Eve.  Christmas is just magical to me and always has been.  I could care less about the "gift" aspect of it, but I love the sense of wonderment and awe that comes with the season.  The happiness and kindness and anticipation surrounding the holiday is something that I'll never get tired of.  And now, after having kids of my own, I love to take them out and watch their faces light up when we see houses covered in Christmas lights.

Alone time with my husband.  When the kids are in bed and we can take off our Mommy and Daddy hats and just be Scott and Jess, it's so nice.  Lately, there hasn't been much alone time for us, but we take what we can.  These days, our time together consists of lying in bed after Bailey and Gerry have gone to sleep and catching up on one of the shows we've DVR-ed before passing out for the night.  Sometimes we'll get lucky and both kids will be out cold at an early hour, and then we get more time to catch up and just be together without having to worry about changing a diaper or telling a story or any of the million other things we do as mom and dad throughout the day.  More often than not, though, it's a quick show and a "Love you" before we both fall asleep.  I keep reminding myself "quality over quantity" and that our children won't be this little and "needy" forever.

 Laughter.  For any reason and in any form.  Really, is there anything better than a good belly laugh?  The saying goes "Laughter is good for the soul" and it really, really is.  Watching someone laugh always has a downright pleasant effect on me, and laughing myself always feels good.  And the sound of children's laughter?  Well, there's just nothing better than that.


Hugs from my children.   There is nothing quite as peaceful and smile-inducing than having a child's arms wrapped around you.  Lately, Bailey has taken to running over from wherever she's been playing and throwing her arms around whatever part of my body she can reach the fastest before running back to play.  It lasts less than 2 seconds, but it never fails to amaze me that she stops what she's doing for the sole purpose of showing me a little bit of affection and love.  Gerry, not even six months old, grabs both sides of my face with a giant smile on his and clasps his lips onto my nose or chin.  Sometimes he throws his head into my shoulder or my neck, and it makes me so damn happy.  I know he's not really giving me a hug, but it's his way of showing interest and affection, and I love it all the same.  I live for it.

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Next week:  My Life 5 Years From Now

Flame-Free Friday!

It's Flame-Free Friday, folks!  Time to get those confessions out without fear of judgement.  Feel free to hop on board with me here and leave your confessions in the comments.  This is a safe zone...no judgements, no unkind remarks.  Get it off your chest.  Here are my confessions for the week:

I've only washed the dishes once all week.  Scott is home for the summer and I'm tired of washing dishes 3 times a day, so I've just been leaving them and waiting for him to get to them.  And I don't feel guilty about it.

I cheated on my Isagenix program a few times this week.  And I still lost two pounds.  I never had anything too, too bad but I definitely didn't stick to the program as rigidly as I have been the last 7 weeks.  Those cleanse days are my savior.

I hate my neighbors' dogs and often fantasize about shooting them with a BB gun.  Our houses are attached, and we have dogs on either side of us.  Dogs that bark nonstop from sun up to sun down.  The neighbors don't do anything to stop it, and it's maddening when the kids want to play outside or we just want to relax out there and can't because those damn dogs are charging the fence and barking like idiots.

Bailey has her very first dance recital this weekend and I think I'm going to cry.  Between her adorable costume and the two routines she has and the fact that my baby is going to be performing up on stage, I feel like I'm going to spend the whole show fighting tears.  And I'm not normally a crier, but I really feel like it's going to happen.

A few friends of mine have recently had or are about to have babies and it's giving me Baby Fever.  Mind you, Gerry isn't even 6 months old yet, and I have no desire to rush him out of babyhood just yet.  But there's something about the excitement of pregnancy and birth that just gets me every time.  Clearly, I'm not quite done.

I still have no pictures of Gerry in the house.  How horrible is that?  If a stranger walked into my home, they would have no clue that I have more than one child.  I've got tons of pictures online, but not a single one in a frame in my house.  Poor kid has gotten the shaft in that department.

I'm still amazed by every single thing my kids do.  Seriously.  Everything.  Yesterday, Gerry spent a good five minutes sucking on his big toe and I filmed the whole thing.  And then watched it over and over again. 

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Nothing too juicy, but it feels good to get some of these out.  So, tell me...what are your confessions this week? 

Welcome To My New Space!

Notice anything different today?  Like...a whole new blog, complete with new title, pictures, and fonts?

In my real life I hate change.  Loathe it.  Fear it.  So, clearly, I'm taking it out on the blog these days.  And I have to say I'm really liking the change right now.  I decided on a new title, "Tutus To Tonka Trucks" while I was thinking about a good way to incorporate everything about our life into this goofy blog.  "What We Make Of It" was nice while it lasted, but I feel like the new title totally fits our life these days.  Now that Bailey is coming up on the big bad 3 (my baby is going to be 3!) and Gerry is coming into his own in terms of personality and interests, I thought the title was fairly apt for us.

I'm still going to be blogging about the same stuff I always have to all 8of you.  But I'm also going to be linking up with Becky over at From Mrs. To Mama each week for the next year for a series she thought up called "52 Weeks Of Blogging With a Purpose".  I'm pretty excited to have the chance to write some things that I may not have written otherwise, and I hope you enjoy reading it, too.  I'll also be doing my own little thing called "Flame Free Friday".  It pretty much speaks for itself...I'll be "confessing" each week, without the fear of judgement.  Hopefully.  It's cathartic and I need it.  And I hope that some of you will feel free to confess some things, too.

Finally, as most of you have probably heard, Google Reader is about to be no more.  As of July 1st, you won't be able to use it.  So click on the Bloglovin' button in the upper right hand corner of my blog to follow me that way.

And keep checking back for more updates!

52 Weeks Of Blogging With a Purpose: Who I Am

I'm linking up with Becky over at From Mrs. To Mama this week.  She had this fantastic idea to blog "with a purpose" once a week for the year, and I love it.  This week's blog focuses on who I am.  The first things that came to my mind when I started writing this were:  daughter, wife, sister, mother...the usual suspects, if you will.  But if I'm going to be blogging with a purpose I want to go a bit deeper than just a typical surface answer.  So first things first...



I am a daughter, sister, wife, mother.  It's hard to describe myself without including these things.  I've been all of these things for some time now, and I often find it difficult to remember that I'm something other than just Bailey and Gerry's mom; Scott's wife; Tim and Donna's daughter.  It is what it is...and I am who I am.  But I'm also more.

 I am a fighter and a survivor.  Not in the traditional sense, but in my own little way.  I was bullied as a child and I survived, albeit it with a bit of a skewed perspective of the world around me.  I've overcome numerous health issues and struggle daily with postpartum depression and anxiety.  I'm learning to be a voice and an advocate for both myself and my children.

I am empathetic.  I always joke that I don't have working tear ducts because I don't let myself become emotional in front of other people.   I don't cry at movies or when I hear a sad story or watch a sad commercial on tv.  But I feel things very, very strongly.  I may not show my emotions in public, but that doesn't mean that I'm not affected by people and things happening in the world around me.  Watching the news at night can send me into a tailspin of internal sadness and regret that takes days to recover from.  When someone makes my daughter sad or upset it takes every fiber of my being not to lash out at that person (more often than not, a child).  When someone I know is going through a rough time, I feel for them as strongly as if it were my own struggle.

I am a caregiver.  Every mother says this, but there is no getting around it.  Every day, I care for my children.  Whether it be the simple and "usual" tasks of motherhood, like feeding them, bathing them, playing with them.  Or whether it be in a more "important" or creative way...kissing away boo-boos, banishing monsters at bedtime, fixing hurts in my children's lives, whether they be real or imagined.  In a million little ways, I am a caregiver.

I am an idealist.  I try to see the good in every situation.  The glass is always half full, things could always be worse...look on the bright side!  I try to see the best in people, and I refuse to go through life being jaded and assuming the worst.

I am a pack rat.  My husband can and will attest to this, because he hates it.  I hate throwing things away and almost everything has some sort of special meaning to me.  The Christmas ornament I made back in Kindergarten?  Can't get rid of it!  I mean, I created that reindeer out of a clothespin and red puff-ball...with my own two hands.  I can't just throw it away!  The piece of paper my toddler drew on with a pen, like, 14 months ago?  It has, literally, one little squiggly line on it and it's still hanging on my refrigerator.  I can't bear to throw it away.  Everything, even the silliest and most inconsequential things, has meaning to me. 

I am a mother.  I know I said this at the very beginning, but I honestly don't think I could tell you who I am without including this.  I am a mother, and it's the scariest, most fulfilling, best thing I'll ever be.

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So that's me in a nutshell.  I've left a lot out, I'm sure.  But these are the things that come to mind right away when I think of who I am.  Check back for next week's topic:  10 Things I Live For!