Boys and Boys & Girls and Girls

Yesterday, completely out of the blue, Bailey asked me "How come sometimes boys kiss boys and girls kiss girls?"

Now, in general, kissing in any way, shape, or form is completely disgusting to her.  Any time Scott and I kiss each other in front of her (even if it's just a quick peck on the lips on our way out the door) she rolls her eyes and says, "Ewww, gross!"  So when she asked me about boys kissing boys and girls kissing girls, I responded to her the same way I do when she asks why mommy and daddy kiss each other...because they love each other.

"But boys aren't supposed to kiss boys.  They're only supposed to kiss girls."

Oh, my dear girl...

My first thought when said that was I'm not ready for the toddler version of the sex talk, let alone when it comes to boys and boys or girls and girls.  But then I started to feel ashamed.  Of myself.  For categorizing kissing and sex as something that should be explained differently somehow when it comes to same-sex couples.

I know I'm waaaaay overthinking things here...my kids are 4 and 2.  The ins and outs of sex aren't even a blip on their radar right now. And I know that Bailey's question was completely innocent.  But I also kind of wonder if maybe I haven't done a good enough job, as a parent, of showing her that boy-boy and girl-girl relationships are normal, too.  When you think about it, really, how often do young kids see those kinds of relationships portrayed in "their" types of media?  {I'm looking at you, Disney Jr. and Sprout.}  I can't think of a single kid's show that I know of that shows same sex parents or same sex couples as a normal thing.  All the movies we've seen over the years show the prince and princess getting married, or the king and queen living happily ever after.  Of course, my kid thinks that's the only "normal" kind of relationship out there. Where's the cartoon that shows Johnny's two mommies?  Or Suzy's two dads?  How come when we watch The Finger Family videos on youtube every single finger family consists of a mommy, a daddy, a brother, a sister, and a baby finger?  More importantly, why the hell am I watching those stupid videos?  I hate the Finger Family song.

To clarify, I am not gay.  I am Catholic.  I absolutely do not believe that homosexuals are destined to end up in hell or that anything they do is in any way, shape, or form wrong.  I just don't believe it.  I support gay rights and same sex marriage the same way that I support marriage between a man and a woman.  My brother-in-law is gay and, while we don't see them very often, I think his boyfriend is very nice and it makes me happy that they're happy.  I've had gay co-workers and friends over the years.  I don't think they're "gross" or in any way "less" than any other person, and I don't want my kids to think that way, either.  I'm all for normalizing these types of relationships and if, down the road, one or both of my kids comes to me and tells me that they're gay, then my hope for them will be the same as it is right now -- that they find someone who they love and who loves them, and that  they find happiness in life.  That's it.  I won't be sad for them, I won't be embarrassed by them, I won't look at them any differently.  I won't cringe or look away if they choose to (tastefully) show their affection in public.  And I'll support the hell out of them, always and no matter what.

So, I tried to explain to Bailey that it's perfectly normal for a boy to kiss a boy or for a girl to kiss a girl, and that it means that they love each other.  That girls can love girls and boys can love boys, and that sometimes they show their love with a kiss.  Thankfully for me, this answer seemed to satisfy her, and she tossed out this gem:

"Well, I'm not gonna kiss anybody til I'm married."

That's my girl.

It's Been Awhile

I've been downright lazy about blogging the last few months.  Work has kept me busy, Scott's been working A LOT of overtime, and the kids are downright exhausting most days.  By the time I have a few minutes of peace to sit down and write, I'm just too tired to want to do it.  Sooooo....here's a recap of what we've been up to the last few months.

We have an appointment next month to register Bailey for Kindergarten.  Whhaaaat?  How is my baby going off to Kindergarten already?  And more importantly, how am I old enough to have a school-aged child?  We've got all these forms to fill out, and she needs to see her pediatrician and her dentist before she can start (luckily, we've got appointments scheduled with both in the next few weeks, anyway), and there's a readiness exam she has to take and orientation in August.  My mind is in a constant tailspin of worry already, and she doesn't even start for 6 more months.  I keep pushing it to the back of my mind, but it keeps annoyingly nudging itself forward.  God, I hope I'm not that mom who cries on the first day of school.  {Spoiler alert-- I already know I'm going to be}.

Bailey has taken her fashionista cred to new and insane levels.  She wore a bathing suit yesterday.  A bathing suit.  It's February, and the high was 23 degrees.  I couldn't convince her to wear anything else and we spent the day at home, so far be it from me to strike down her little diva spirit.  She's still obsessed with dresses and picking out her own outfits, and a "normal" day is one where she's changed her clothes at least twice.  She got this book for Christmas that shows her me how to do different hairstyles based on characters from Frozen.  I suck at just about all of the styles, but she still keeps asking me to do them.  I'm the little engine that could, except that I can't.  

Second outfit of the morning...

She put together this ensemble completely on her own

The only hair style in the 89 page book that I can do with any sort of ease

She still loves to sing and wear makeup, and she's obsessed with babies.  She makes up these crazy little stories and acts them out with her Barbie dolls, and she's got a self-proclaimed crush on not one but two boys right now.  God help us all when she's a teenager.  She's so freakin' amazing, though.  

We moved Gerry to a toddler bed after he climbed out of his crib for the third time.  Three sleepless nights later, we switched him back to his crib.  It was the longest and most nightmarish three nights of my life.   G has always been our great sleeper.  Aside from the times he's been sick, he's never gone to bed with any difficulty, and I've LOVED it.  Once he realized that he could just climb out of the toddler bed, though, it was all he did.   I'd put him down for a nap or to bed for the night and then have to wait outside his bedroom door because it was inevitable that he'd climb right out of bed and come running out into the hallway.  He woke us up anywhere between 2 and 5am for three nights in a row.  He'd come running into our bedroom, all smiles, yelling "Hi, mommy!  I awake!"  And then he'd climb up into our bed and want to hang out for the rest of the night.  And, just like that, our wonderful sleeper was no more.  It was the longest few nights of my life.  My breaking point was night three, when I found him in Bailey's room at 3:15am, jumping on her bed and playing with her Barbie dolls.  I ran to Facebook to see if any of my mom friends could commiserate and, lo and behold, a friend of mine had a simple thought that had never even entered my mind.  Have you turned his crib around so that the shorter rail is against the wall?  I read that and it was like a thousand light bulbs went flashing over my head...how had that never occurred to me?  So there we were, at 3:30 in the morning, turning his crib back around so that the higher rail (the one he can't climb over) was facing out.  When we put him back to bed that night/morning, it was like all the stress of the last few nights {stress that I hadn't even realized I was feeling} just melted away.  And I had my great sleeper back.  I'm thinking of keeping in a crib until he goes off to high school...

Gerry is a giant ball of non-stop motion and energy.  Not that this is any different from the past two years, but it somehow seems like he's amped it up the last few months.  I never know what I'm going to find when I walk into a room at any given time.  He goes from climbing on chairs to get to my coffee and stack my k-cups, to pulling all the cushions off the couch and jumping all over them, to chasing the dog around the house, to pouring water from the bathroom sink to the bathroom floor to the carpeted hallway to tearing up the roll of toilet paper and leaving trails of it all over the bathroom--all in the span of a few minutes.  It's exhausting!  

A wallet, Cheetos, and a sippy cup tossed into the bathtub

But then there are these little moments of incredible sweetness when he stops what he's doing, seeks me out, and runs into my lap yelling, "I love you, mommy!"  He follows it up with a hug and kiss, and then he's off to destroy some other part of the house.  

Scott's sports season is finally winding down.  And not a moment too soon.  It'll be nice to have him home more often, and I know he'll be glad to be home and not clocking a game.  We miss him.  

So that's that.  Not a whole lot has been going on, but I'm sure things will pick up in the next few months as tee ball season starts and school gets closer.  Until then, I'm enjoying the relative peace around here...and I use that term very, very lightly.