A Hard Lesson To Teach

I've been feeling "down" the last few days and am having a hard time shaking it.  I woke up Monday morning and, like always, went downstairs and turned on the news.  The top story was the murder of a 9-year-old little girl just a few towns away from ours.  The newscaster went into detail about her murder, telling us that it was evident that she struggled, that she was assaulted, that her body had been found near a dumpster in the apartment building in which she and her parents lived.  She had gone outside to play and never came home.

Today when I turned on the news, it was still a top story.  It was reiterated that she had been sexually assaulted and strangled.  A 25-year-old man who lives in her apartment building has been arrested for her murder.  It's alleged that he strangled her with his bare hands.  When asked why he had killed the little girl, the man replied that he "snapped" and had something "like a whiteout".  They showed the girl's picture on the news and my heart broke looking at her.  She was beautiful and looked like such a happy little girl.  In her eyes you could see all the innocence and happiness of childhood and the promise of the future.  I can't imagine what her parents must be going through.

It sickens me that I'm raising a daughter in this world.  I'm disgusted that a child can't even go outside to play without the worry that he or she might never come home.  I keep my doors locked during the day because you never know what could happen.  I watch Bailey and all of the other little ones playing, and I see the neighborhood kids outside and it makes me wonder, At what point in their childhood do we sit them down and shatter their illusion of what the world has to offer?

How do you even go about having that conversation with a child?  Right now Bailey is much too young to be left alone to play anyway.  But she'll smile at most anyone who looks her way, and she doesn't seem to show fear when someone she doesn't know talks to her or wants to hold her.  She's growing up and moving closer and closer to independence every day.  How do I tell her that the world is a scary place and strangers are not your friends?  I don't want to be the one who makes her see the world as someplace to tiptoe through cautiously, always looking over her shoulder...but I also don't want her to go through life thinking that every place and everyone is safe.  As a parent, how do you reach that balance between letting your child "spread her wings" and keeping her close and safe?  How do you do it without creating a fearful and timid child?

It's disturbing that we even have to have these kinds of conversations with our children.  What ever happened to spending hours and hours playing outside without a care in the world, like we did when I was a little girl?  To exploring the neighborhood with our friends until Mom called us in for dinner?  To being allowed to run and play outside until it got dark?  What happened to the security that we used to have?  To the faith that we could go outside and just be kids for awhile, then come home...without fear of the dark or strangers lurking in the shadows?  I'm so, so sad that my Bailey will never grow up in a world like that, and that I will have to constantly remind her about safety.  My child will grow up in a world where murder is prevalent, violence is the norm, and safety is an almost non-entity...I feel equal parts disgust, fear and sadness for that.

I can't shake the picture of little Skyler Kauffman from my mind.  Her happy face and smiling eyes are haunting, and I'm just sick for her family.  I absolutely could not (and dare not) imagine something like that happening to Bailey.  Makes me want to curl up in a ball with my arms around her until she's an adult and able to take care of herself out in the world.  Although, she'll always be my baby and I'll always worry about her, no matter how old she gets.

I hope that when the time comes Scott and I can teach her about the dangers out there, while also teaching her about the beauty and the good things to be found every day.  We have some time, luckily, to figure out just how to do that...to balance out her sense of wonder at the world with a sense of caution.

Until then, we'll continue to help Bailey to explore the world around her.  We'll share in her delight when she discovers something new.  And we'll send up a quick prayer of thanks every evening that we tuck her safely into bed.

My First Mother's Day

This was my first "official" Mother's Day, and it was great!  The 3 of us (yes, you read that correctly...ALL 3 OF US) went to church in the morning, then the Storti family all went out for breakfast afterwards.  The Wanners came over mid-morning and we took them out for brunch to celebrate, then came back to our house, made some coffee, and just hung out for a bit.  Then we went to my parents' house for a bbq in the afternoon.  It was a day filled with family and fun, and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I wasn't expecting anything (although, I did mention that I wouldn't mind something!), but I got spoiled this year.  Here's a picture of what Bailey made me:

Scott made me a video that almost brought me (the unemotional non-crier) to tears.  My parents gave me lotion, body wash and hand sanitizer (comes in very handy in my line of work!) and my sister and brother-in-law gave me a coffee mug that says #1 Mom filled with candy.  Lots of wonderful and unexpected gifts.  

And here was my #1 present:

Notice the bruise on her head.  She took a tumble into the table and whacked it pretty good.  The perils of mobility!  And because I just can't get enough, here are a few more photos of my little sweetie pie.

Her first time seeing Big Bird on tv

Most girls love to talk on the phone.  Mine would prefer to eat it.

Mommy and Bailey

And I can't forget to mention how kind Scott was to keep an eye on Bailey for me so I could relax for awhile.

Yes...that would be a laundry basket she's in...poor thing.

All in all, I had a great first Mother's Day, and I feel blessed to be able to celebrate being a mother.  I hope you all had a great day, too!

Moving, Moving, Moving!

In just the few short days since I last posted, Bailey has started becoming MUCH more mobile.  She crawls now with a speed that sometimes astounds me.  She's a lot like her daddy in that respect, I think.  Slow-moving most of the time (I don't mean that in a bad way), content to not rush and to enjoy what's around her.  But when she sees something she wants, she can move like a bat out of hell!

She's started to pull herself up on everything now, even things that I know without a doubt will not support her weight.  She falls down quite a bit, but she's learning to handle it well.  When she first started crawling and trying to pull herself up she'd have a complete meltdown if she fell even the smallest little bit.  Now, she's used to it.  She falls with an almost admirable amount of grace, smiling while the floor rushes up to meet her.  She just smiles and gets herself right back up nowadays!  Her newest feat are the stairs.  She's been trying like hell to get herself up there, but so far it's a no-go.

This picture was taken the day before she figured out how to pull herself up to standing.  Now she's just got to figure out how to lift her little legs up on the stairs and she'll be good to go!

One of the drawbacks of having such a persistent little one, I think, are the epic temper tantrums that I (and those around us) have to endure...on a daily basis.  Bailey is already a head-strong girl, even at 10 months old.  She knows what she wants and damn if she's not going to try everything in her power to get it!  If, God forbid, she's doing something that some would find dangerous like, say, trying to stick her little hands inside our baseboard heater (which is on and hot sometimes) or crawling over to the basement door that Scott can never remember to close, she will have a full meltdown.  She's perfected the art of the tantrum, I'm afraid.  Her performance is pretty gripping, complete with  top-of-her-lungs screaming, red face and LOTS of foot kicking.  It's so hard not to laugh at her when she's in the middle of a tantrum, though.  She absolutely cannot control herself, and it's pretty entertaining to watch her go from stark-raving mad to calm and smiley in less than a minute.  Darling girl, there are SO many more important things in the world than whether or not mommy and daddy will let you eat a piece of food that you swiped from the dog's bowl.  Someday she'll learn that lesson; I only hope she's learned to handle herself better by that time, too!  Yesterday, I wouldn't let her play with our $300 camera and this is what I got...

Followed quickly by this...

And in about 47 seconds, she was all smiles again...

Right now, I'm watching Bailey on her video monitor.  She woke up from her nap a few minutes ago and has been trying so hard to play with the curtains hanging from her window.  They're far enough away that she can't reach any cords, but just close enough that she can brush her fingers against the sheers...ah, temptation.  Luckily, it's kept her occupied long enough that I can finish my coffee before I go upstairs to get her.  Have I mentioned before how much I love seeing her smile when I go in to get her from  her crib.  She smiles every single time, and it's one of my favorite things.

In just a few days, I'll celebrate my first Mother's Day, and I'm so excited!  I'm not expecting anything in terms of gifts (I truly am one of those moms who thinks that her kid is the best gift)...but I certainly won't turn any away!  We'll have a busy day planned, lots of family time, and I'm really looking forward to it!

She Makes Me Smile :-)

Fishy Face!

She's all cheeks here...

Pretty Girl

Side view of the fish face

Having a laugh with Uncle TJ

It's Been 10 Months...

It's been 10 months since Bailey was born, and I'm still in awe of her every day.  She has SUCH a great personality, and I can't help but smile when I look at her.  We celebrated her first Easter on Sunday, and she joined in the celebration by crawling for the first time!  It was so cute to watch her go...but now she's into everything!  Yesterday, I left her in the living room with some toys while I ran upstairs to change.  I came back 2 minutes later, and she was gone.  I found her all the way in the kitchen (which is in  the back of the house) opening and closing my cabinet drawers.  She's a fast mover!

Her newest "trick" is that she's able to stand up now, though only in her crib.  Scott lowered the mattress Sunday night (not a moment too soon!), just because she was starting to get herself on to her knees and we knew standing was coming eventually.  Little did we know she'd be standing up in there the very next day!  I put her down for a nap, came downstairs to finish my coffee and looked at the video monitor...and she wasn't there.  I ran back upstairs to find her standing there in the corner of her crib, just out of sight of the camera.  She had the biggest smile on her face and started waving to me when I walked to the doorway.  You could just tell she was SO proud of herself!

Last night, Bailey went to bed at 9:30...waaaayy later than normal!  She and I met up with a friend for dinner and got home around 8:30.  I should have just changed her and put her right to bed, but she wanted to play and, well, I'm a sucker.  She loved crawling all the way to the edge of my bed and then leaning over the side just enough to get some momentum going before I caught her and tossed her back onto the bed.  She did this over and over again until we were both out of breath from giggling and laughing so hard.  It was one of many fun times I've had with her, and it still makes me smile when I think about the sound of her laughing and the little humming noises she made while crawling around the bed.  All that play tired her out, though, because she slept 10 full hours without waking up!

I still think of her as a miracle, and I feel incredibly lucky that I get the special job of being her mommy.  She is truly a blessing.  She was sleeping still when Scott left for work this morning, and he peeked in her room before he left (at this point, she was sleeping on her belly with her baby butt up in the air).  When he came downstairs he was smiling and he said, "She is so beautiful".  We might be biased, considering she's our baby...but she really is beautiful.  :-)

Here are a few pictures of Bailey on Easter...

What's up, doc?

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!

Bailey's on the move!!

Got My Hands Full!

I had no plans to post today, but had to share with you before the day got away from me and I forgot...

I had put Bailey down for a nap this afternoon, and she went down without a fight.  She slept for almost two hours and I had kept an eye on the baby monitor during that time.  When she woke up, she started playing and talking to herself in the crib and I figured that as long as she was happy and occupied I wasn't going to disturb her.  At the time, I was reading a book (quite the rarity these days) and had gone back to reading.  I just happened to glance back at the monitor to see Bailey's adorable face filling the entire screen.  She had the most confused, and yet mischievous, look on her face and she started to smile...and then the room started spinning and I was treated to an up-close-and-personal view of my daughter's mostly toothless gums.

I sat there for a few seconds thinking to myself, what the hell is going on?!  And then I realized that, no, there wasn't an earthquake in her bedroom and no, I wasn't in the middle of the Wizard Of Oz.  Bailey had apparently woken up and decided that she was bored after playing for a few minutes.  So, she turned herself around in the crib, pulled herself up, reached over the edge of the crib to the changing table (which is attached), and pulled the video camera off the table.  The zoom shot of her mouth happened when she decided she was hungry and started chewing on the camera.  Sooooo, in addition to the rest of the baby-proofing we'll be doing, Scott and I will also be lowering her mattress and moving the camera to a shelf where she can't reach it.

Speaking of baby-proofing...Bailey is REALLY starting to get into things now that's learned she can move.  She's constantly going after cords and tables and outlets and the baseboard heater.  And I'm fairly certain she swallowed something questionable that she found under the couch while on one of her reconnasaince missions this morning.  I'm afraid I've got my hands full for the time being.

And now, I've gotta run.  It seems my little darling has decided that the vaccuum looks more fun than her toys and is trying to climb on top of it.  Till next time!

On the Move!!

Bailey is officially on the move!

No, no...she's not walking yet.  Not even crawling, really.  But she IS moving.  I posted a few days ago about how Bailey had just started to sit up from a lying position on her own.  Well, that same afternoon, her grandparents had come over and were going to take her to their house for an overnight visit.  While we were sitting in the living room talking, Bailey rolled over onto her belly, put her arms out in front of her, and started dragging herself across the room...picture the "army crawl".  She did it so nonchalantly that, at first, I didn't take much notice of it.  But then it hit me...my baby, who just a few hours ago was doing nothing but rolling, just scooched all the way across the room!  She's been doing it ever since.  She can get to her hands and knees and she'll start rocking back and forth, but then she drops flat on her belly and goes into the army crawl.  Take it for what you will.  Scott and I are considering her mobile now!

On to Bailey's sleepover with her Mom-mom and Pop-pop...she had a blast, and slept through the night for them!  She hasn't slept through for us in about two or three weeks, and we've been chalking it up to her top teeth coming in.  Anyway, they took her to their mall and got her picture taken with the Easter Bunny there and she did great!  They got a picture for us, and she's got a big smile on her face.  Scott's mom said that Bailey didn't want to leave, so they ended up buying her a pretzel and sitting on a bench by the bunny so she could watch him for awhile.

Scott and I picked her up last night after my last daycare kid went home for the day, and I will never forget the greeting I got when Bailey saw me!  She got this instant look of recognition on her face and the BIGGEST smile...then started waving her arms and making all kinds of noises until I picked her up.  She missed us just as much as we missed her!  

There isn't too much else going on these days.  So far, with the exception of her teething, Bailey has been healthy and happy.  She loves to play in the tub (I still can't believe it, after how much she hated the tub when she was first born!), and will constantly flip herself onto her belly to try and play with the drain.  She's sort of, kind of, almost trying to pull up on things...but we'll take it one day at a time.  For now, she's happy and funny and we're just loving being with her.  Scott is on Spring Break this week, so I know they're enjoying having this time together.  It's wonderful to watch!

Here are just a few more pictures of Bailey that I can't help but share!

Waiting in line to see the Easter Bunny

Just because it's so cute!

A Little Update

We took Bailey to the mall yesterday to have her picture taken with the Easter Bunny.  Scott and I both fully expected her to cry as soon as we sat her on the bunny's lap, but we were surprised when she didn't!  She looked adorable in a blue dress from the Children's Place with a little blue cardigan to go over it, white tights and her white Easter shoes.  As soon as I can get a picture uploaded, I put it on here.

Over the weekend, Bailey started moving around a lot more (time to get baby-proofing!).  Her newest "trick" is that she can now go from laying down flat to sitting herself up without help!  She just started doing it all of a sudden, and it blew me away.  Scott thinks she'll be crawling in the next few weeks...I can't even imagine that!
She's making strides with her sippy cup, as well.  She actually drank from it (water, no less!) on Saturday, so we're hoping that she'll be drinking water more often.  We're tossing around the idea of breaking her of the binky habit.  We decided that we'll still give it to her for bedtime and naps (and long car rides, because she's a monster in the car), but that's it.  Unless she's having a total meltdown and the bink is the only thing that will make her feel better, we'll keep it hidden throughout the day and just offer it to her when she's getting ready to sleep.  We have no idea how it'll work, or if it's even a good (or feasible) idea right now, but we're going to give it a shot.  Luckily, she's not completely attached to the binky, so it shouldn't be too hard to say bye-bye to it. 

She's spending the night with her grandparents (Scott's mom and dad) tonight.  They're on spring break and wanted to take her over night.  Hopefully, she sleeps okay for them!  She's getting her top teeth in and has been sleeping pretty much like crap for us.  Crossing my fingers!

I feel like she does something new every day...I can't wait to see what she'll do tomorrow!!  In the meantime, here are a few pictures from the last week or so...

Giving a little over-the-shoulder action

Out for a ride in her car

We went all Hollywood with the shades...

My Little Stander

She was yelling at me in this one....note her face.

9 Months and Counting...

Bailey had her 9 month well-visit a few days ago, and all went well.  She's almost 28 inches long and weighs 19lbs. 5oz.  She's in the 50th percentile for both height and weight.  Developmentally, she's doing great!  The only thing her doc says we should work on is getting her to drink from a sippy cup.  Easier said than done...

We've tried a sippy cup before.  She knows how to hold it and to put the spout in her mouth.  But she'd rather chew on it or play with it than drink from it.  We tried water in the cup...she won't drink it.  Tried juice...she won't drink it.  We tried her formula in the sippy cup...also a no-go.  Interestingly enough, she'll drink both water and juice from a straw or straight from the glass, but absolutely positively will not drink from the sippy cup.  Any tips any of you may have are welcome!  For now, I've just been filling the sippy with water and giving it to her with snacks and throughout the day to get used to having it around.  

Bailey's just started to get on her knees and rock back and forth (a precursor to crawling, they say!).  She's rolling all over the place and LOVES to stand, but crawling and walking seem to be on the back burner for her these days.  I don't mind, though.  A lot of people have asked me, "Aren't you worried that she's not crawling yet?" or "Aren't you excited for her to start walking?"  My answer to both questions is a firm NO.  Yes, I'll be thrilled for her when she starts crawling and walking.  But am I worried that she isn't doing it right now?  Not a bit.  She'll do it when she's ready.  She was born 6 days after her due date (a full 16 days after her original due date), and decided to make her debut just hours before I was scheduled to be induced.  Just like her birth, I fully believe that she'll know when she's ready and when it's time, and she'll do it.  And not a moment sooner.  Besides, before we know it, she'll be all grown up.  She's already growing before our eyes, and it seems like every day she grows just a little bit further away from being my baby...I'm not quite ready for that yet.  I don't mind that she's not ready to crawl or walk yet.  Just like I don't mind changing her diaper or giving her a bath or feeding her or waking up with her in the middle of the night...or any of the million other things I'm lucky to be able to do as her mother.  I cherish it...all of it.  

Whenever we see someone who we haven't seen in awhile, the first thing they ask us is whether or not Bailey is crawling/walking yet.  There's a little girl who comes to the daycare who is a few days younger than Bailey, but is pretty much crawling.  Sometimes I watch her and wonder when Bailey will do it.  Sometimes I even get a little nervous (and, I'll admit, my competitive mommy spirit kicks in) that a child younger than her (albeit, only by a few days) is crawling.  But then I remember the things that Bailey can do that a lot of other kids her age can't do yet.  She started clapping earlier than most.  She mastered the pincher grasp way ahead of the curve.  She held her head up very early.  I remind myself not to compare any of the kids, because they'll all do their own thing in their own time.

Yes, I sometimes worry that she isn't doing some things yet (unfounded fears, her doc says).  But then she smiles at me, holds out her arms, and says "mama" and I think to myself, who cares?  Let her stay my baby that much longer.  Some day, she'll be running away from me instead of holding out her arms.  She'll be scowling at me instead of smiling.  And I'll be thinking back to these days when she was still "my baby" and wishing I could go back.  Soon enough she'll crawl.  Then she'll walk, and then she'll be running, and it's anybody's guess where she'll go from there.  For now, I am wonderfully, perfectly content with her not crawling.  I am wonderfully, perfectly content with her needing me.  I am wonderfully, perfectly content with her.

Recap!

Once again, it's been quite some time since I devoted any time to this blog.  The last few weeks have been the "one step forward, two steps back" kind, and the blog has taken a backseat to other things.  But so much has happened in the last few weeks that if I don't take a minute to update now, I'll have to make multiple posts just to put it all in!

First off, for those of you wondering, I got my biopsy results back and I do NOT have melanoma!!  You have no idea how relieved I was to hear the doctor say those words over the phone.  I hung up and said to Bailey, "Mommy's fine!  Mommy's fine!" much like I say to her when she falls or is fussy.  And Bailey, intuitive one that she is, looked at me and started clapping like she had any idea what I was talking about.  It was an interesting moment, and I didn't realize until then just how nervous I was about getting those results back.  They weren't perfect, unfortunately.  All three moles that were removed were, in fact, dysplastic and changing.  But, the good news is that the surgeon removed everything and the margins are all clear.  I just have to see my dermatologist for a mole check every six months for now...which I will gladly do.  What a relief!

Now on to my Bailey.  She's come quite a ways since my last post, and I hope I don't forget to put anything in here that she's begun to do.  Let's see...she's still clapping, though more frequently these days, and she seems to really understand that we clap when she does something "good".  Every time we say "Yay, Bailey!" she smiles and claps in response.  She's standing like a pro, though not completely on her own yet.  She has to hold on to something.  She's trying to pull up on things and getting closer and closer to actually doing it every time--she can get to her knees before she gets this confused look on her face and just balances there.  She's rolling all over the place, and can crawl backwards.  Yes, you red correctly.  My girl crawls backwards.  She can't go forward yet, but she's trying.She'll get to her belly from a sitting position and will pump her arms and her legs...but she doesn't get anywhere yet.  I've got to give her points for persistence, though.

We still can't get her to take a sippy cup, although we haven't been trying all that hard.  She's holding her own bottle now, and likes to hold a sippy cup and put it in her mouth, but she refuses to drink any juice or water from it.  She likes her formula!  She's trying new foods, and really loves to eat!  Her favorites are still sweet potatoes, but she also likes chewing on soft pretzel sticks and cut-up apples (without the skin).  And I'm pretty sure she'll be eating Gerber yogurt bites in college.  She LOVES banana-flavored yogurt, but is not a fan of peach.  She'll occasionally drink from a straw but, in typical Bailey fashion, will only do it when she feels like it.  She's a stubborn one!  One of her absolute favorite snacks are Weight Watchers strawberry smoothie popsicles.  Yes, I let my 9-month-old eat popsicles and she loves them.  She splits them with Scott, and as soon as she sees him take it out of the freezer she gets a huge smile on her face and starts leaning forward trying to get to the popsicle.  Here's a picture of her enjoying one with Daddy...

Bailey and Daddy sharing a popsicle

And here's a picture of Bailey when the popsicle is all gone...

Yep...clearly she hates when there's none left.  And, sympathetic mother that I am, I grabbed my camera and took a picture of her crying over her finished treat before consoling her.

Bailey is doing a lot of pointing now, too.  We have pictures of Scott and me in Aruba that are hanging on the wall as you walk downstairs from the bedrooms.  Every time Bailey and I come downstairs, she starts pointing to the pictures.  We always stop and I say "There's mommy and daddy!" while she points at the photos.  Now, she's saying Mama and Dada more frequently, and I honestly think she associates me with Mama and Scott with Dada.  When she wants me to pick her up or play with her she'll hold out her arms to me and say "Mama, mama" over and over again.  Same with Scott..."Dada, dada" when she wants him.  Some might say that she probably doesn't associate us with those names just yet, but I'd like to believe otherwise.  She waves hello and bye-bye, too.  Sometimes when we're walking in her stroller, she throw her hands up in the air and just start waving at anyone that comes our way.  She's quite the friendly baby these days.  And she gives kisses now!  It's the absolute most adorable thing to watch.  We'll say, "Bailey, give daddy kisses" (or whoever) and she leans over and opens her mouth super wide for a kiss.  I love it!

This past week, Bailey had yet another illness issue.  Roseola this time, and it was the worst one she's had yet, in my opinion.  Coughing and congestion I can handle.  Vomiting I can handle.  Teething, gas, fussiness...I can handle.  I absolutely could not handle the roseola, and I felt terrible about it.  She started with a fever of 102 on Friday afternoon.  She was fine otherwise, just more tired than usual.  I chalked it up to teething, although she didn't get a fever when her first two teeth came in.  I gave her some Infant Advil and put her down for a nap, thinking she'd be fine when she woke up.  Not so.  She woke up and her fever had only gone down to 101.2.  I gave her more Advil.  Over the weekend, her fever was anywhere from 102 to 104 degrees, and Advil only brought it done for a little while.  She slept a lot during the day, ate very little, and was generally miserable.  Bedtime was a nghtmare.  She was up just about every hour from Friday through Sunday.  It wasn't like when we were sleep-training her and could get her back to sleep in just a minute by giving her a bink.  No, she woke up screaming, writhing around her crib and NOTHING we did calmed her down.  It was horrible.  Finally, late afternoon on Sunday her fever broke.  Two hours later she broke out in a rash that covered her belly and back.  Then, it spread to her arms and legs, all the way up to her ears and scalp.  We called the after-hours line at the doctor's office, and they were no help at all.  At this point, she had no fever and didn't seem all that bothered by the rash, but she was definitely fussier than normal and just wanted to be held.  

At 2am Monday morning, Bailey woke up screaming again.  We brought her into our room, gave her Advil in case she was uncomfortable, and tried to get her to sleep in bed with us.  No go.  She continued to scream and flail and writhe around for over an hour.  I called my mom and, after an hour of Bailey screaming and flailing around, we took her to the ER.  Now, I've been to the hospital so many times it's almost like a home away from home for me.  But going in as a mother with your child is an entirely different and frightening experience.   Bailey had calmed down by the time we got there and they took us back to a curtained room.  They tested her for both types of influenza and strep (both all clear), then took her to get a chest x-ray.  I got the unfortunate job of having to hold her still while they took the x-rays, and she was not happy.  By the time we left the x-ray room, Bailey was in tears and I was close to it myself. 

Three hours after we had walked in the ER, were on our way home with instructions to follow up with Bailey's doctor the same day.  The ER staff didn't know what it was.  Fast forward to her appointment with her doctor (she looked awful and the rash was still all on her face and body).  They told us there that she had roseola, which is characterized by a high fever lasting up to three days followed by a rash once the fever breaks.  The good news was that the rash didn't hurt her and she wasn't contagious at that point, but being sick in general makes Bailey miserable, and this is the worst I've seen her since she was an infant.  She cried whenever she was awake, and if she wasn't crying then she was constantly fussing until she worked herself up to a good cry.  She just wanted to be held, and all hell broke loose if she was put down.  I ended up wearing her in a chest carrier all day Tuesday because she just wanted to be held and I needed my hands free to take care of the daycare kids, too.  It was crazy.  And she still wasn't sleeping at night (or during the day, for that matter) which meant that Scott and I weren't sleeping either.  We both felt like zombies all week.

She's FINALLY starting to feel better, and I couldn't be more relieved or grateful.  Last night was the first night in a week that she slept well and didn't wake up inconsolably screaming.  She's starting to eat more now, and while she still has her fussy moments, they seem to be few and far between.  Today, at least.  She's slowly getting back to her happy self, and I'm so happy about that!

Tonight we have her 9 month well-visit with the doctor.  No shots at this appointment, so it should go pretty smoothly.  I'll update with her height and weight later on.  For now, I'm going to enjoy the peace and quiet while she naps...and I get to enjoy one more cup of coffee. 

My happy little girl!