I Said I Would Never....

This week's Blogging With a Purpose, I'll admit, was humbling for me.  I distinctly remember working in a daycare center after college and saying to my co-workers numerous times, "I will never..."in response to something idiotic a parent did to or with or in front of their kid.  I can remember one winter morning when I was teaching preschool in that same center, I got a phone call from the parent of one of my 3-year-old students that went like this:

Parent:  (frantic) Jess!  L is dead set on wearing a dress to school today, but she's freaking out and refuses to wear tights with the dress and it's freezing out.  What should I do?

Me:  Just pack her up, throw a pair of tights in her backpack, and bring her on in.  I'll make sure she wears the tights.

Parent:  (big sigh)  Thanks, Jess.  I don't know what her deal is this morning.

I hung up the phone, rolled my eyes, and wondered how in the world this woman was letting her 3-year-old get away with being the boss.  Fast forward four years, and now I totally get it.  Before I had kids of my own, there were a million and one things I swore I would never do.  I'm embarrassed to admit that I was downright smug when it came to parenting -- before I came a parent myself.  Back then, I said I would never...

...force my kid to take a nap if she didn't want to.  It's laughable how naive I was before having kids.  Of course I'm going to make my kid take a nap!  (At the very least, she has to have at least an hour of"quiet time" in her bedroom after lunch)  It's the only break I get all day and we both need it.  On days when she doesn't nap, Bailey is a little monster by 5pm.  And then, of course, she's so over-tired that she won't sleep at night, and it's a vicious cycle of grumpiness.  Lesson learned.  Naps are good.

... "wear" my baby.  I love my children, but who wants a baby strapped to their chest all the time, right?  I thought it was kind of weird, and would probably be uncomfortable.  Until I tried it...and fell in love.  There's something so wonderful about the weight of your baby as he snuggles up and falls asleep on your chest.  Not to mention the fact that the baby loves it, and it promotes that bonding experience between mother and child.  I wish I had known better when Bailey was a baby.  Luckily, I got a clue by the time Gerry was born.  I love, love, loved wearing him in my Moby wrap and was so sad when he started to outgrow it before I was ready.

...give in to my kids' temper tantrums.  Well, this went out the window pretty quickly.  I learned right away that it was much easier to discipline other kids than it was to discipline my own.  I swear it has something to do with the fact that they're biologically mine.  It makes me physically ache when my kids cry or are sad...I don't feel the same sense of  "detachment"  in my children's tantrum situations that I do with kids who aren't mine.  Does that make any sense?  I have an easier time saying no when it's not my kid.  Anyway, Bailey was {and still is} the QUEEN of the temper tantrum.  She's made it an art form, and she can go from calm to crazy psycho child in a matter of seconds with little to no warning.  I've learned to pick my battles with her.  You want a popsicle?  You have to eat dinner first.  Oh, no...don't start crying....no, don't throw yourself on the floor...please stop screaming...okay, fine.  Have a popsicle, but don't tell daddy.

... "spank" my kids.  And I never have.  I feel very strongly that there are much better ways to discipline a child, and that spanking a child only teaches him or her that it's okay to do.  And, in my opinion, it's not.


...enroll my daughter in dance class.  I'm not a girly-girl, and always thought that my daughter would play sports.  When I was pregnant with Bailey, Scott and I both swore that we'd never paint her room pink and that we'd urge her to play sports when she hit the right age.  "No ballerinas for us!" I said.  Joke's on me, I guess, because at 3-years-old my daughter's favorite color is pink, she wants to be a princess for Halloween, and she insisted on taking dance classes this year. 

That's Bailey in the middle...in the pink top and black tights with leg warmers

...let my kid have a pacifier past the age of 1.  I'm hanging my head in shame because we're still battling with Bailey to ditch the bink...and she's 3.

...do something like this to my kids:

...let a day go by without telling my kids that I love them.  To the moon and back.  And I haven't. 

Next Week's Topic:  What Being a Mom Looks Like