The Little Moments

Bailey and Gerry are 4 1/2 and 2 years old now, respectively, and they've become quite the affectionate kids.  I'd be lying if I said I didn't absolutely love it.  Like...LOVE IT.  In the midst of the craziness and the "pulling my hair out" moments in our day, it's these little moments that make me fall in love with my kids all over again.

Gerry is a whirling dervish of motion throughout the day.  From the minute he hits consciousness in the morning until the very last second before he falls asleep at night, the boy is just movement.  Always running somewhere, climbing on top of things and jumping off of things, opening and closing doors, inspecting all the little hiding spots he can find around the house, and playing like it's his job (because it is).  Most of the pictures I have of him in the last few months or so are just blurry because I can never get him to stay still long enough to actually get a good one.  He races his cars, builds (and subsequently destroys) elaborate and tall block towers, pushes Bailey's baby dolls in strollers, and finds different ways to get into things that never would have entered my limited adult mind.  He's motion, plain and simple.  But then, quite unexpectedly, there are these tiny little moments throughout the day.  Moments where he slows down and says, in his sweet little boy voice, "I yub you, mommy."  Moments where I can hear him searching me out from another room.  "Where mommy?  Sit with mommy," I'll hear him say and then a minute later there he is, climbing onto my lap, snuggling his tiny body up against mine and laying his head on my shoulder while he watches tv or plays on my phone.  There are moments where he leans in with his lips pursed and gives me a kiss and I swear a few wrongs in the world have been righted.

Bailey has never been an openly affectionate child.    She loves us, we know, and she always always prefers to be at home with us rather than sleeping over at a friend's house or spending the day out with someone else.  She gives hugs and kisses but, unlike Gerry, she keeps them reserved for special people and special times, preferring to show her affection in more subtle ways.  But lately even she has taken to slowing down during the day, to saying "Mommy?  I love you", to wanting to snuggle up in my lap, or wanting me to carry her somewhere.  There are times when she just seems so damn grown-up to me--when she bargains for more ice cream or tries to argue her point (any point, really...the girl's gonna make an excellent lawyer one day), or just stops and explains something about her day to us--and I feel like I'm literally watching her grow up and away from me.  But then there are those little moments where she's my baby again, when she wants to snuggle up, when she wants me to lay down with her until she falls asleep at night, where she throws her arms around my neck and refuses to let go.

And watching the two of them together?  Well, that's just magical.  Like any siblings, they've got their moments when they're at each other's throats and arguing.  But they have so many more moments where you can see how much they adore each other.  When they play together and one hands the other a toy and they say, "Oh, thank you!"  When they give each other a kiss before bed each night and say "I love you".  When they snuggle up together on the couch or in Bailey's bed and watch tv or play with my phone together.

And it's during these moments that I slow down, too.  I breathe in the scent of hers and Gerry's hair, I squeeze them tight and rain kisses down on them for as long as they'll let me.  I tell them I love them over and over again and I remind myself that this is what it's all about, that these tiny little moments in the middle of our often-times chaotic and crazy lives are all that matter.  I know that in the blink of an eye these two are going to be grown "for real" and that the affectionate displays are going to dwindle more and more as it becomes "uncool" (in their teenage minds) to show your family how much you care for them.  And I hope that they find their way back to this place as adults, and that they never stop showing how much they love us and each other.  Right now, I'm hanging on to these little moments.  And loving every single second of them.