Now, in general, kissing in any way, shape, or form is completely disgusting to her. Any time Scott and I kiss each other in front of her (even if it's just a quick peck on the lips on our way out the door) she rolls her eyes and says, "Ewww, gross!" So when she asked me about boys kissing boys and girls kissing girls, I responded to her the same way I do when she asks why mommy and daddy kiss each other...because they love each other.
"But boys aren't supposed to kiss boys. They're only supposed to kiss girls."
Oh, my dear girl...
My first thought when said that was I'm not ready for the toddler version of the sex talk, let alone when it comes to boys and boys or girls and girls. But then I started to feel ashamed. Of myself. For categorizing kissing and sex as something that should be explained differently somehow when it comes to same-sex couples.
I know I'm waaaaay overthinking things here...my kids are 4 and 2. The ins and outs of sex aren't even a blip on their radar right now. And I know that Bailey's question was completely innocent. But I also kind of wonder if maybe I haven't done a good enough job, as a parent, of showing her that boy-boy and girl-girl relationships are normal, too. When you think about it, really, how often do young kids see those kinds of relationships portrayed in "their" types of media? {I'm looking at you, Disney Jr. and Sprout.} I can't think of a single kid's show that I know of that shows same sex parents or same sex couples as a normal thing. All the movies we've seen over the years show the prince and princess getting married, or the king and queen living happily ever after. Of course, my kid thinks that's the only "normal" kind of relationship out there. Where's the cartoon that shows Johnny's two mommies? Or Suzy's two dads? How come when we watch The Finger Family videos on youtube every single finger family consists of a mommy, a daddy, a brother, a sister, and a baby finger? More importantly, why the hell am I watching those stupid videos? I hate the Finger Family song.
To clarify, I am not gay. I am Catholic. I absolutely do not believe that homosexuals are destined to end up in hell or that anything they do is in any way, shape, or form wrong. I just don't believe it. I support gay rights and same sex marriage the same way that I support marriage between a man and a woman. My brother-in-law is gay and, while we don't see them very often, I think his boyfriend is very nice and it makes me happy that they're happy. I've had gay co-workers and friends over the years. I don't think they're "gross" or in any way "less" than any other person, and I don't want my kids to think that way, either. I'm all for normalizing these types of relationships and if, down the road, one or both of my kids comes to me and tells me that they're gay, then my hope for them will be the same as it is right now -- that they find someone who they love and who loves them, and that they find happiness in life. That's it. I won't be sad for them, I won't be embarrassed by them, I won't look at them any differently. I won't cringe or look away if they choose to (tastefully) show their affection in public. And I'll support the hell out of them, always and no matter what.
So, I tried to explain to Bailey that it's perfectly normal for a boy to kiss a boy or for a girl to kiss a girl, and that it means that they love each other. That girls can love girls and boys can love boys, and that sometimes they show their love with a kiss. Thankfully for me, this answer seemed to satisfy her, and she tossed out this gem:
"Well, I'm not gonna kiss anybody til I'm married."
That's my girl.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Who loves comments? I do!