I'm veering "off-topic" again and using this post to give everyone a quick update about my surgery. Let me start with an apology and some gratitude to all of you first. I didn't realize how many of you were following this blog and keeping tabs on both Bailey and myself...until my Facebook was inundated with messages from all of you kind people asking how I was doing after surgery and if I got the biopsy results back. Before I got all those messages, it honestly never occurred to me to post an update on here. I didn't think that so many of you would be thinking of me and wondering how I was doing, and I'm touched by, and thankful for, your concern.
So, here's an update...
I had three moles removed last Tuesday, and was put under anesthesia. I was SO nervous about being put under, but everything went well and I had no crazy side effects to it. Looking back, I think I was mostly afraid of not waking up once they put me under. I always read these crazy horror stories of people going under anesthesia for simple procedures and then they end up in a coma or dead. So in the back of my mind I was sort of terrified. Call me dramatic, but I've never kissed Bailey so much or told her I loved her more often than I did when I put her to bed the night before my surgery. By the time I finally laid her in her crib she was trying to twist out of my arms and making all kinds of disgruntled noises...poor thing!
Anyway, I felt great when I woke up from surgery. I had closed the daycare for the day and my mom was kind enough to take care of Bailey all day so that I could rest. I ended up sleeping most of the afternoon (which I never get to do), and was pretty sore when I woke up. While I was in recovery (right after the procedure), the surgeon came out to talk to my mom, and told her that there's a chance that one of the moles he removed could be melanoma (skin cancer), and that when the biopsy results came back and we knew for sure that we'd discuss treatment options. Great...
I refused to think about it too much. In fact, I'm still not letting myself think about it too much. I don't want to think about dealing with something that major right now, and I refuse to think about being sick enough that I can't be the mother that I want to be to Bailey. I just can't let my mind go there yet...not until we know for sure.
I had the appointment to have my stitches removed yesterday, and was able to have them all removed. Originally, I was told that, because of the placement of the moles and the stitches, I would need to get some removed in one appointment and the rest removed in another appointment. Fortunately, I was able to have all of them removed in one shot. The scarring is, in a word, ugly. Right now they're all raised, dark, and pretty bruised. The doctor mentioned that the scarring on my chest would be "significant" because of how close to the bone it is. Looks like I'll be investing in some Mederma down the road! Actually, I'll probably just say "screw it" and own the scars like I have all the others. In any case, there's not much I can do about it at this point anyway. But I'm getting off-topic.
The results of the biopsies weren't back yet yesterday. I have to call Thursday morning to find out. I stupidly was kind of relieved to not know the results yet. I'm sure everything is fine, but there's a part of me that is just terrified that they're going to tell me I have skin cancer. And I just couldn't bear to hear it, not then anyway. As awful as it is to have to wait even longer to know for sure, at least I'll have time to psych myself up to hear whatever they have to say. Either way, we'll get through it...and now I'll be even more diligent about my own health.
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Bailey is doing fantastically, but has begun to develop quite the attitude when things don't go her way. Scott and I are going to have a hell of time breaking her of that soon. I'd love to update more on Bailey, but my little darling just woke up from a nap...and is pulling the bumpers off her crib. Ahh, the beauty of the video monitor. I can see everything she's up to, and she has no clue. She's given up on demolishing the bumper, and is now laying there screaming. Time to go get her! Check back soon for a better update!
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